Ummy

In a home of polarized figures, I saw my mom as an angel in need of my protection. I truly, with all my heart, believed she was perfect. Despite how false that statement may be, in that faith I found refuge. Does that not make it true, to some degree, if it was so able to save my life? I became as a zombie, leading a life impervious to the whims and affections of others, but her presence granted me grace.

She inspired me to find light in the darkest corners, and to believe in an ever- flawed humanity.

Wishing to Forget.

It has been a while since I have written, it all seems a little pointless since only my self-gratification offers purpose to this desolate blog; magnificent desolation!

I know that travel is a desire I have had for a while, yet never cared to acknowledge.I fear that I will fail because of all these little things in my life that crop up, latch themselves to me and refuse to let go.

Deep-seeded resentment migrates through my body, a haunted history recycling its delusions in my mind. Forgive, forgive, I am so sick of people telling me to forgive. I hurt, and unlike a physical injury it's not a matter of depending on your white blood cells to charge forth like warriors at your defence. No, this is a process of paying attention to everything I so dearly wish to forget! I am capable of hate too deep.

I wish to forget.