Friday, June 4, 2010

New York; a dream come to fruition.


Tonight I leave for New York City, my first time ever and I am in disbelief. It seems for so long that it was just a dream, never to be reached until I was ripe in my character. Yet here it presents itself, and I am grateful. I often felt myself to be like the Egyptian man in 'The Alchemist', whose dream it was to visit Mecca but continually he held off of this journey for as he said, once there he would have nothing left to dream. New York is more than a place I choose to visit, but an outlet for me to express myself in this city where the pinnacle of human potential is made evident, and it pushes me to put forth only my best.

Eat, Pray Love has been one such staple pushing me in pursuit of this dream, as I read this novel one page stood out in particular. I was inspired to learn of L.A., whose inhabitants migrate to its promising lands in search of success, and unlike it New York values accomplishments. Hard work and progress are considered in higher regard than simply a dream not yet acted upon. L.A. is where the rich and beautiful come to float atop this land that defies gravity, and they drift in their dreams. New York however, is firmly grounded in the reality of everyday, and dreams are goals in need of action.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Ummy

In a home of polarized figures, I saw my mom as an angel in need of my protection. I truly, with all my heart, believed she was perfect. Despite how false that statement may be, in that faith I found refuge. Does that not make it true, to some degree, if it was so able to save my life? I became as a zombie, leading a life impervious to the whims and affections of others, but her presence granted me grace.

She inspired me to find light in the darkest corners, and to believe in an ever- flawed humanity.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Wishing to Forget.


It has been a while since I have written, it all seems a little pointless since only my self-gratification offers purpose to this desolate blog; magnificent desolation!

I know that travel is a desire I have had for a while, yet never cared to acknowledge.I fear that I will fail because of all these little things in my life that crop up, latch themselves to me and refuse to let go.

Deep-seeded resentment migrates through my body, a haunted history recycling its delusions in my mind. Forgive, forgive, I am so sick of people telling me to forgive. I hurt, and unlike a physical injury it's not a matter of depending on your white blood cells to charge forth like warriors at your defence. No, this is a process of paying attention to everything I so dearly wish to forget! I am capable of hate too deep.

I wish to forget.